Fun with mortification

Over 30 years playing on stages from dirt floors to the Hollywood Bowl, I’ve participated in a few dozen truly awkward on-stage moments.  But one stands head and shoulders above the others as my crowning embarrassment.  First, some of the runners-up:

MORTIFICATION BY PROXY:  In 1986, I was unemployed, and unemployable, after having struggled for four long months with my fuel-injected 1969 Volkswagen 1600 Squareback, which I finally just left by the side of the Long Island Expressway just this side of “Cahoots” off exit 54.  So I was thrilled when I got a call to go to Florida to work on my first cruise ship, the “Scandinavian Sky”.  The “Sky” was a little glorified garbage scow doing day cruises out of Port Canaveral, FL. I made $275 a week.  And each morning, the cruise director, Robert somebody, would come bounding out with a thick crust of scabs under his nose from all the cocaine he was doing and warble the theme from “The Love Boat” while we played behind him.
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CHAPTER ONE: I Give Birth a healthy, bouncing newborn BLOG.  Welcome to the grand opening! There’ll be balloons for the kids, a beer garden sponsored by O’Doul’s (featuring the green bottles AND the brown ones!), and this person will serve as our DJ.  I know, I know, but live musicians are such a pain in the ass. I intend to use this space to rattle on on a wide variety of subjects, from biographical nuggets of my dramatic history (soon to be a Lifetime Network movie starring Jim J. Bullock), to thoughts on the state of this rotten business glamorous music-industry utopia, to some ideas on playing, producing, composing, arranging, mixing, mastering, and the secret recipe for my famous “Guest Bedroom Guacamole”. Hopefully you will find it worth reading; if not, it can always be printed out and used to line the bottom of the bird cage. A few thoughts before I dive in:
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